In July, I went to Amsterdam.

Yes, July was many months ago. I am very behind in this blogging thing…

But, onwards!

I flew to Amsterdam with my friends Anthony and Skyler (Shenzhen-dwellers.) The last time I checked in, I had arrived in Shenzhen to crash on Antler’s (I just made up that portmanteau, why have I never thought of this before??) couch to relax and maybe do some laundry before we headed off to Amsterdam together.

The flight was 12 hours, which I found strange because it’s 12 hours to go from the US to China, but also to go from Hong Kong to Amsterdam? This was explained to me by Anthony as the result of flights to/from China get to hop over the globe, while flights from Hong Kong to Amsterdam have to go around it. I think. I dunno, I don’t look at maps and therefore have no idea how geography works.

Anyway, we arrived in Amsterdam in the evening. The Antler and I split up, Antler to Skyler’s relatives’, and me to a hostel I’d booked on Hostelworld, called Shelter Jordan. (Because Skyler has AmsterdamMagic (aka a Dutch bank card and all that jazz) he was able to get us a more permanent transportation card for Amsterdam right at the airport, instead of just the day cards, which was nice because after this trip, I’m pretty sure I’ll be visiting Amsterdam again.)

My hostel was named Shelter Jordan. When I arrived at its doors, I was greeted with a mural of Jesus Christ giving a sermon on a boat to many disciples. The hostel’s slogan was, “Experience Christian Hospitality!” When checking in, I was invited to join the hostel volunteers in their bible study group, and also reminded that because it was a Christian hostel, no drugs or alcohol were allowed.

Somehow, in Amsterdam of all places, I picked the Christian hostel with a drugs and alcohol ban.

Annnyway. The bed was comfortable. It was a good place to do work from.

I’m all about that work/life balance.

Anyway, Sunday morning found me up and early (Amsterdam is 6 hours behind China, meaning my body clock was the kind of weird that isn’t a full flip, which was almost even more annoying), so I did a little bit of work, and then set off at 9ish to meet Skyler and Anthony, and Lani and Phill — who were arriving that morning — at a brunch spot named Bakers & Roasters. My walk took me through a good portion of the center of the city, past beautiful canals and on streets that were fairly empty and quiet.

Water! Green trees! Beautiful, colorful buildings! Blue sky! What is this world? 

The buildings, canals, and the cats in the windows I saw were all just stunningly beautiful. Is this real life? I had to ask myself.

Then we had brunch, and I continued to doubt my reality.

An unreal meal! Okay, okay. Brunch spots do exist in Shanghai, but July in Shanghai is a hot, humid sweaty hellhole that ranges from about 30-40 degrees Celsius (for Fahrenheiters, that’s Really Freaking Hot), while Amsterdam was a sweet 16-20 (for Fahrenheiters, that’s Basically Perfect + A Light Sweater.)

After a very long and lazy brunch, Anthony, Skyler, Phill and Lani went to go find Phill and Lani’s boat-airbnb, and I wandered back through the city to my nice Christian hostel to take a jetlag nap and get some work done. A coffeeshop may or may not have been visited, but if it were, and if I lingered by a few canals in order not to break the hostel’s alcohol-and-drugs ban, or got lost in the Red Light district on my walk back (which is honestly a bit of an uncomfortable place in broad daylight)… well, Amsterdam!

We met up again in the evening to have dinner at a place called Kadijk, with Skyler’s cousins, and then we all went to a very very cool cocktail bar called Hidden in Plain Sight (HPS) where I ordered a blackberry drink thing that I can’t for the life of me remember exactly what it was, possibly because it contained ingredients I literally hadn’t known existed until then, and also because I was too blown away by everything to make notes like I usually do.

The next day, I talked to Katie, who was in Belgium at the time, on FaceTime. I had originally called her to complain that she was in Belgium but not in Amsterdam with me, and somehow our conversation ended with me getting online and buying a train ticket to meet up with her in Luxembourg. I have no impulse control. It’s vacation, I told myself, ignoring briefly that my entire life right now is just one long semi-vacation and I can’t really use this as an excuse anymore. But really, this was Real Vacation, the European interlude away from Asia.

Fortunately, I was rescued from more impulsive decisions by all of us heading off to Kwaku festival, which was a festival full of Surinamese food, and where I was introduced to bara. I had never heard of Surinamese food before, and admittedly I still do not know anything about Suriname, but I do now know that bara are savory doughnut things stuffed with meat curry and are absolutely amazing. The whole afternoon passed away in a haze of eating as much as I possibly could, sinking into a chair to digest, and then eating more. Really, really good macaroons also featured.

The next morning, jet lag got me again, and I was up at 4 am. At around 5:30am, unable to sleep, I decided to go for an early morning run in the Vondelpark, which wasn’t tooo far from where I was staying.

Following my run, the Gang met up again to go on BRUNCH BOAT. Brunch boat was, as you can probably guess, brunch except on a boat that meandered through the canals in Amsterdam.

More evidence that touristing in Amsterdam is Not Real Life.


After Brunch Boat, Anthony, Skyler, Phill and Lani headed back for Kwaku noms, Day Two. Since I planned to take a train to Luxembourg the next morning, I went off on my own to do some good old fashioned tourism. I visited the Van Gogh Museum, wandered around the city some more, then returned to Vondelpark and read a book on my kindle with some coffeeshop purchases. (Again: not real life.)

Meanwhile, at Kwaku that evening, Real Life reared its ugly head — Skyler slipped and broke his foot, and when I met up with them again, he was on crutches. (Though, by all accounts, he got some sweet dance moves in before the unfortunate accident.)

The next morning, at Early o’Clock (pre-6am) I was up and out again, this time headed to the train station to get to Luxembourg. In Luxembourg, I hung out in the downtown area (quite small, but very pretty!) and met Katie’s friend Natalie’s roommate Liz. I had met Natalie a couple of years earlier, when she visited Katie in Chengdu. I had never met Liz before, but she was super friendly and energetic, and led me back to her and Natalie’s apartment, where I did work and waited for Natalie and Katie to get back to Luxembourg. They had been on the Belgium coast, and due to a Series of Unfortunate Events, returned to Luxembourg city a little later than originally intended.

But a joyous reunion was had! A movie was watched! And I fell asleep in the middle of it.

The next morning, Natalie, Katie and I slept in (Liz had to go to work.) We had a quiet breakfast, did a little mask thing on our noses because you know, that’s just what you do, and did laundry. (I will always do laundry if it’s free.)

A charcoal mask. I had trouble making it nose-shaped.

In the afternoon, we went to go buy me an epilator (this is like a razor, except instead of shaving hair, it plucks the hairs!! very cool! ask me about this if you are interested, but for now I will refrain from inflicting my endless enthusiasm for the epilator upon the general public.) After wandering around the downtown Luxembourg area, we went to an Escape Room that was based on the Luxembourgish myth of the mermaid Melusina.

If you don’t know what an escape room is, it involves getting locked in a room and then having to find clues in order to work your way out. This escape room had two rooms actually, and you had to progress from one to the next, and then in the second room you had to solve clues in order to keep a hostage from drowning. (Our hostage drowned. Oops.)

In the first room, I managed to stumble upon a couple of clues accidentally. For instance, there was a wooden bathtub in the corner for some reason, and because I was lazy and tired of standing, I just kind of climbed into the bathtub and sat down. The lights immediately went out.

As it turns out, the lights went out and a black light turned on, and then we were able to read the invisible ink clues on the back of a letter. On the one hand, this was cool. On the other hand, I had nowhere to sit and contemplate our clues from without turning all the lights off.


Sit in the bathtub, Watson, I dare you.

And then we went to Korean BBQ for dinner, because KBBQ should always be an option.

The next morning, we had another lazy morning before walking down into Luxembourg’s Lower City. We had lunch at a place that also had this very alcoholic beer + orange liquor (we got a side-eye from the waiter for ordering these at lunchtime), and then took a glass elevator back up to what I assume is called the Upper City? Or maybe it’s just the Rest Of The City.

Sadly, after this, I had to depart Luxembourg.

But my Magical Not Real Life vacation continued!

Back in Amsterdam, on my last day there, Phill and I went to the Zaanse Schans windmills, where I continued the question the truth of my reality because oh my god, that place was so stupidly idyllic I literally could not contain myself. (Also, mushrooms.)

That evening, Anthony, Skyler and I went to a Mendelssohn + Schubert classical music concert (a contra-bass was involved, the Mendelssohn was amazing but honestly I kinda of dozed off a bit during the Schubert; Anthony helpfully nudged me, presumably when I started audibly snoring or heavy-sleep-breathing) and then the Skyler, Anthony, Phill and I returned to HPS for more Super Fancy Drinks (Lani had left earlier in the afternoon).

And then, the next day, the One-footed Skyler (with a cast), Anthony and I flew back to Hong Kong. Skyler left us at the HK airport to head to a hospital for a check in before his foot surgery, while Anthony and I headed back to Shenzhen together.

“Wow,” Anthony remarked as we got into a shuttle that would carry us back over the border.  “I kind of really missed Chinese.”

“Shut up,” I told him, because despite the incredible Magical Not Real Life, I had kind of really missed Chinese too. I imagine this is what Stockholm Syndrome is like.


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A 60-year-old cat lady disguised as a 25-year-old digital nomad.

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